Random thoughts.

I should have been a teen in the nineties.

I should have pushed the knife further down.

I couldn't gather the guts to do it.

I did today.

I swallowed a whole bottle of fluoxetine, loratadine, lorazepam and ibuprofen after a heavy argument with someone who is important to me. They decided I was worthless and heartless and careless and hateful and who knows what else and then I decided I didn't want to be here anymore.

I couldn't bear it.

I wished that I would die. I really thought I would. I didn't expect anyone to find me till after a good while.

But.

Now I just came back from hospital.

Where my granddad is also dying.



Just relax, just relax, just go to sleep.